Representations

There are two main reasons I like photography. 1. I love photography and enjoy creating my own work. 2. Being the photographer keeps me behind the camera, not in front of it. I'm never, ever satisfied completely with how I look in a photograph, and I tend to not even look in the mirror much simply because I know I will be unable to change that which I do not like. In my opinion, I have more business holding a camera than it does holding me.

Despite my preference, I was required to turn in a self-portrait to my photography class. This is what I came up with. Of course, I made sure my face, at least, was not in the photograph. I'd like to think it was done artistically, but the fact is, I was just hiding.

But here's the thing about pictures I've come to realize. Pictures can capture. Photographs can imitate. Photographs can be so real that their flaws are indistinguishable to any eye. But photographs are merely representations of reality. A reflection in the mirror is simply a representation of what sits before it. They are separate entities and in no way 100% true to reality. By looking at this picture, you can make assumptions about what I look like, about who I am, and about what I am like. Even if my face was in this photograph, you could only assume. The only way to truly see me is to see me, to see me in person and to experience me in the real world.

And just as a photograph is only a representation of the real world, the real world is only an imitation of that which is eternal and pure. When sin entered the world, it distorted a perfect creation and muddled our perspective of God and all that is good that comes from Him. When you see a bad picture of yourself it would be unreasonable to immediately dislike you as a person simply because the photograph presents you in an unfavorable way. That is why we delete "bad photographs." We don't delete ourselves because of a bad photograph.

The world we see now is naught but a muddled, imperfect, and adulterated representation of what God had originally intended. But God didn't delete it. Instead, God is showing His infinite power and glory and love by working miraculously in a world that can hardly see. When the curtain is drawn back; when the Claritin kicks in; when the clouds are dispersed by a glorious Sun, then we shall see Creation for what it truly is. Paul says in First Corinthians 13:9,10,12 "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears...Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

When we enter into eternity, the representations and imitations will fall away. We shall see the principles after which all else had formerly been modeled. We will see love in its truest form. We will understand what we had spent a past life simply trying to imagine. We will see "face to face." And, I am guessing, we will tremble.

So I took my self-portrait, reassured that it would only be a mere representation (but still uncomfortable enough to hide my face). I took my place behind the camera and I took my place before it; I focused, checked the exposure, and pressed on a little button that happened to be black.